The struggle is real
I don't know if I'm “allowed” to talk about this stuff, since it's not completely fitness related. But I've been struggling lately. Struggling with what the hell I want to do with my life. I know I'm meant to do something amazing, but I have no idea what. I'm stuck somewhere between genetics, exercise science, nutrition, and public health. All I truly know is I want to help others in someway. I've been trying to use google to make things clearer. The thing I've found is I should find out what my strengths are.. that will lead me in the direction of what I should do as a career. Well, that's great! Except, I have no idea what my strengths are. This word made me even more confused… my “strengths”? I don't know.. and the more I thought about it the more I realized,do I even know myself? Who am I? (Not to get too deep here- that's what she said). I overthink everything, I'm worried about what people think all the time. On my Instagram I don't know how to be “authentic”. Am I really being me? Or am I being what I think I should be? I decided to sit down and think about strengths.. I first thought about the normal resume “strengths”... hard working, team player, kind, quick learner. But these aren't the strengths I want to know about.. I want to know what activities I'm truly good at. I played soccer and basketball when younger- wasn't good at either of them. I always wanted to draw- but I suck. I love photography- but I'm not that good.. but hey, I don't think I suck! Write that one down! Photography and of couurseee fitness! I love to lift, it's a serious passion/obsession of mine. But the thing is, I'm really not good at it. I'm not strong compared to other women who lift. But I am good at doing a bunch of research to learn more about it and understand eAch part of it! So that's something! And even though “hard working” is a resume strength.. I think it really defines me. No, I'm not even remotely strong compared to other powerlifting women… but I'm going to keep lifting and enjoying it because it's something I love to do. And hopefully over time strength will be an added bonus! As long as I can continuously increase my strength, I'll be winning! Maybe there are some people out there that find what they want to do for the rest of their lives at a young age. And hey, congratulations! The rest of us don't have it that easy! But, maybe that's what our 20s are for. I'll spend this time really figuring myself out.. what I like to do, what I'm good at, what I don't enjoy doing. This way, when I find that perfect job... It'll bring me a lifetime of happiness. And what more could we ever want? So yeah, I'm struggling.. and I might be for a while. But it'll be worth it in the end. Gotta struggle through these years to get to the lifetime of happiness. Yeah, I like that. If anyone read all of this, you're probably in the same boat. So, I'm glad to tell you, you're not alone. (And I'm glad I'm not alone!) We will all get through these struggles and it'll be worth it, I promise. Xo, Cam