Social Media Makes me Feel like a Failure
I hate how much power I give social media. I let it control my emotions and make me feel bad about myself. I've been working on growing my Instagram for a long time now.. with no success.
Why do I care about growing my Instagram? Because my goal with it is to reach as many women as possible. I want to inspire and encourage other women to want to get strong. I want other women to look at themselves at how capable their body is instead of worrying about fat or "impurities" on their body. So.. if I have a large social media following, I can reach more women with this message. But, sadly, I've been trying to increase my Instagram following with little to no success. I mean, I have more followers than when I started.. so that's still something! I'm still reaching SOME people, which I should be happy about. And I am, I just want more. Maybe I'll always want to reach more people.. but there are billions of people in the world and I'm only reaching a small percent of them. I'm not saying I'm not thankful for those that follow me, because I'm extremely appreciative of those that support me and believe in the message I'm sharing.
Am I supposed to be saying this stuff? That "I want more Instagram followers"? I feel like it's kind of thought of as taboo (defn:unacceptable by society) yes, I looked it up to make sure I was using the right word 😂. Anyways... I guess I don't care anymore if what I talk about is acceptable or not. It's what I'm thinking and feeling and it may relate to other people's lives also. I should point out, however, that I in no way created this Instagram to get thousands of followers or be Instagram "famous". I started this to document my journey to becoming strong.. the good and the bad, the ups and the downs. I want to show females the truth to lifting.. there can be hard times, but the good times make it worth it (like most things in life). But somewhere along the way, my worth started being determined with how many Instagram followers I have.
Social media made me feel that the fitness women with 100k followers were better than me, and I was a failure. Maybe what I'm doing isn't good enough.. maybe nobody really cares about what I have to say or what I'm doing. I hate that I allowed social media to control my feelings. My worth IS NOT defined by my virtual following. I want to take back this control and remember that I define my worth. For those of you who do follow me, thank you so much for the support and following my crazy journey of ups and downs. I will continue to post my journey in hopes of helping others. If I help just 1 woman with my fitness Instagram, my goal will be accomplished. Instead of worrying about having millions of followers, I'm going to remember to focus on that 1 woman. And maybe, in time, I'll help more than 1 woman.
Xoxo,
Cam
@fitlifeofcam